It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
