I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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