haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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