Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
