Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
