My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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