That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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