Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
