You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
