holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize