so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
