The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
