apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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