Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
