oh god the rape fog is back!
they need to just BURY HIM!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
