no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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