White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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