That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
