my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
