i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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