um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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