He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
