it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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