but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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