This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
