K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
