can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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