i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
