That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
