i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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