Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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