I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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