We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
