used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
