i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
how drunk are you?
Several
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
