i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
this hospital has no fireball
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
