i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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