he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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