i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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