Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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