On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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