so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Houston, we have a squirter
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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