Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
