Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
