Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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