this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
