your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
