Jerry, you need to find god
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
