If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
