you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
