oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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