Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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