Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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