Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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