oh god the rape fog is back!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
